Wednesday, August 15, 2018

The Subtle Art of Comeback.----Why The Science Of Resilence is Important

                  I am sure that we have faced setbacks at some stage in our life. Calculations have gone wrong in spite of our best efforts. Many times Things do not turn out as we predict them to be. Life has always been unpredictable for everyone. Be it a child or the most powerful person, no one is spared! This is true for every professional and individual. As parents, when we raise our children or hold on to a failing relationship, these mishaps follow us. It is not every time that we are able to overcome them in the desired time period. We learn to live them.

The moment when failure stares at us, clawing back, seems a distant reality. Many believe that it is not everyone’s cup of tea. A comeback is for a chosen few who have a strong mindset. But in reality, our mind has other plans. A comeback is manufactured! And is the building block for a new life of hope and happiness. We all stage a comeback sooner or later but the time is taken and the belief separates the successful individuals.
Comebacks are always possible; to be honest, they happen all the time. However, if you have had a setback, a comeback may seem impossible to you. Our journey of life is full of setbacks, no matter who you are. Financial problems, health issues, divorce, loss of a loved one — these and many more visit all of us. The difficult part is how you can overcome your setback. How do you accept a setback and make a comeback?
A comeback will always begin with change. If you desire a comeback you are going to have to change. Unless you change what you presently are doing or not doing, things are going to remain the same. There is no chance of a comeback. You have to be willing to do things differently from what you’ve done up to this point.
Awareness changes your mind. It happens when you receive new information or gain new knowledge — this is a change of mind.
Change happens when you adopt a new attitude. When you decide that your way of thinking is going to change — this is a change of heart. Change always happens when you choose to be committed and be perseverant — this will change your future.
Not that it will change your past but it will pave the way for a brighter tomorrow.
Like it or not, success doesn’t always happen overnight. In fact, some of the world’s most famous high achievers heard “no” at least once (and often quite a few times) before getting that all-important “yes.”
Whether you’re teaching your child or dealing with a task at hand.Failure is bound to strike you at some stage.Y ou have to get up, rewire and give it back.
Here are a few of successful people who prove that the best way to face failure is to just keep going.
 J.K. Rowling
Five years before publishing one of the most influential books of the 21st century, J.K. Rowling was living on welfare and struggling as a single mother.
Rowling wrote the first book in the Harry Potter series while working during the night as a teacher, but the manuscript was rejected 12 times by the publisher.
When Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone eventually did get published, Rowling was advised not to quit her day job since her chance of success was slim. And, of course, with over 450 million Harry Potter books sold worldwide, we all know how that really turned out!
Steven Spielberg
Now one of the Hollywood’s most respected directors, Steven Spielberg was rejected by his school of choice for film three different times. But he didn’t let that stop him.
Spielberg eventually secured an internship at Universal Studios after enrolling in a different college. During that internship, he was asked to direct a small film, with his work impressing Universal executives so much that they offered him a seven-year contract. He became the youngest director ever hired by the studio.
Sudha Chandran.
She is an Indian television and film actress and an accomplished Bharatnatyam dancer who lost her leg when she was 16 as a result of a road accident during a pilgrimage in Tamil Nadu. The bus she was traveling in hit a truck and her feet got stuck in the chaos. Her right foot was critically injured. Unfortunately for her, the doctors made a mistake while trying to cure the infection. This mistake cost Sudha her right leg.
“To stop the spread of the infection, her right leg had to be amputated 7.5 inches below the knee.”
Very rarely we come across people who have the courage and heart to make a comeback after tragedy strikes their personal lives.
May 2nd, 1981 was the day that changed Sudha Chandran forever. But she proved that she was not a quitter. She started to lose all hopes as she realized with every dance session while wearing the artificial leg, her foot began to bleed and the pain became more severe as the pace of her dancing increased. Though she was determined to overcome it.
It was after all this, that she received so much respect from the media, got an offer to act in a film based on her life and received tons of opportunities.
Marvan Attapatu
Making his debut in Test cricket for Sri Lanka, Marvan scored a duck in his first innings. And again, in his second innings.
They dropped him. So he went back to the nets for more practice. More first-class cricket. More runs. Waiting for that elusive call. And after twenty-one months, he got a second chance.
This time, he tried harder. His scores: 0 in the first innings, 1 in the second Dropped again, he went back to the grind. And scored tonnes of runs in first-class cricket. Runs that seemed inadequate to erase the painful memories of the Test failures. Well, seventeen months later, opportunity knocked yet again. Marvan got to bat in both innings of the Test. His scores: 0 and 0. Phew!
Back to the grind. Would the selectors ever give him another chance? They said he lacked big-match temperament. His technique wasn’t good enough at the highest level. Undaunted, Marvan kept trying.
Three years later, he got another chance. This time, he made runs. He came good. And in an illustrious career thereafter, Marvan went on to score over 5000 runs for Sri Lanka. That included sixteen centuries and six double hundreds. And he went on to captain his country. All this despite taking over six years to score his second run in Test cricket. Wow! What a guy!
How many of us can handle failure as well as he did? Six years of trying, and failing. He must have been tempted to pursue another career. Change his sport perhaps. Play county cricket. Or, oh well, just give up. But he didn’t. And that made the difference.
 “Perseverance is everything. Everybody has failures, but successful people keep on going.”
                     So I decided to explore the reasons why some people can stage a comeback while others fail. Going through my research and my interventions with people of all age groups, I ended up making the laws of neuroplasticity. These are based on neuroscience, neurophysics and the changes taking place in our brain. These laws were always existing in our lives but we never realized that these were making our thought process autonomous (without our conscious control).
The next problem I faced was to reach out to layman so everyone can know about these laws and can get benefited. I realized that most of the people understood these mechanisms when they were in a happy state. But would they be able to recollect these mechanisms when the tide was against them? So hence decide to explain these laws in the form of stories so I could make an impression in the mind of how our human mind works.
This is the first time when someone has tried to attempt this feat. So, I was skeptical and took reviews from people from all walks of life. I worked on the stories so even if people do not read the science part, I could reach out to them with the stories and simple explanations of the process. In spite of the many rejections of my content by my non-medico wife, Darshana, I persisted with the book until she gave me a thumbs up.

What a comeback! Is an inspiring journey of 10 friends who go through torrid times in their lives?
It gives us an insight into the functioning of the thought processes that govern our responses both in favorable and in tough times. The stories of Sam and his friends make the readers realize that they too can be superheroes in their lives and they do not need to wait for a miracle, to come up with the right decisions in life.
Each and every story is about a common man, his everyday problems and his tirade against the uncertainties of life. The book takes you on a journey into the brain of the characters and how the brain functions and overcomes difficult situations.
The intention of writing the book is to leave the reader with a sense of hope and belief that a comeback is possible in their life at any stage, no matter what destiny presents us in our journey. If the book can change the life of a single individual, my goal will be achieved.

"No one has ever achieved great heights if they have not mastered the art of the comeback." Dr. Chirag Jain
Bottom of Form
The link to my book -----kindle version     http://amzn.in/7l2aUZV 
                                         Paperback         What a Comeback! - The laws that change the way we think


Friday, July 27, 2018

What A Comeback!The Laws That Change the Way We Think.---------"Stories that Reveal the Science Behind Resilence."



“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new centre of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a new way to stand.”― Oprah Winfrey

"There's nothing as exciting as a comeback - seeing someone with dreams, watching them fail, and then getting a second chance" -Rachel Griffiths

We have all faced difficult moments at some stage in our life. Life has always been unpredictable. Be it a child or the most powerful person, no one is spared! Things do not turn out as we predict them to be. This is true for every profession and individual. The most successful man or woman will vouch for the above statement. It is true for every relationship, at some point of our lives. As we parent our children or hold on to a relationship, these unpredictable situations follow us.


Resilience and Perseverance go hand in hand in shaping the conditions of a comeback. It is when failure stares at us, clawing back seems a distant reality. Many believe that it is not everyone’s cup of tea. But our mind has other plans. A comeback is manufactured! And is the building block for a new life of hope and happiness. We all stage a comeback sooner a later but the time taken differs with every individual.

What a comeback! Is an inspiring journey of 10 friends who go through torrid times in their lives.


The book gives us an insight into the functioning of the thought processes that govern our responses both in favorable and in tough times. The stories of Sam and his friends make the readers realize that they too can be superheroes in their lives and they do not need to wait for a miracle, to come up with the right decisions in life.


The book is based on the laws of neuroplasticity which have been formulated based on neuroscience and the changes taking place in our brain. These laws were always existing in our lives but we never realized that these were making our thought process autonomous (without our conscious control).

 Each and every story is about a common man, his everyday problems and his tirade against the uncertainties of life. The author gives a journey into the brain of the characters and how the brain functions and overcomes difficult situations.

This is the first time when someone has tried to explain the complex mechanisms of neuroscience with the help of stories.

 The intention of writing the book is to leave the reader with a sense of hope and belief that a comeback is possible in their life at any stage, no matter what destiny presents us in our journey.

"No one has ever achieved great heights if they have not mastered the art of the comeback." Dr. Chirag Jain


“To persevere, I think, is important for everybody. Don't give up, don't give in. There's always an answer to everything.”-Louis Zamperini



you can book your copy on Amazon

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Suicide video from Kandivali-The lessons learnt


 A class ninth student of Gundecha Education Academy  at Kandivili ended her life by jumping from top floor of her building. Cause is unknown. We are no one to judge her or her family or the circumstances. Family is at loss and so  is she. The video of the suicide has been widely shared on social media and parents like in most suicide cases are unaware of the situation. The danger of the suicide video being seen by the children is one of the irony which most of the parents sharing the video are unaware.

I have jotted down some of the facts and remedies which parents can intervene and prevent such events from happening.
1. A child is prone to depression much more than adults.
2.Till the age of 18, a child can be prone to mental illness , disorders and depression.
3.  If a child is showing any kinds of withdrawals , sitting quiet for a long time, dreaming , sudden loss of attention span, too many distractions and not interested in anything, temper tantrums, bouts of anger or crying too easily on petty things , please sit with the child.
4.  Take leave from work, go for a vacation. Leave everything and talk to him or her. No need to ask her why is she sad or aloof. Just discuss general things to encourage her to open up. Assure that you are there whatever happens.
5.   
Don’t ask your child to adjust too much to any changes in life. Everyone has a level of adaptability. Let it happen at its pace.
6.    No academics is important than your child’s mental and physical health.
7.  No comparing the child with others rather compare with herself/himself. Eg. When you did that test / sang a song/ played  well last time, we were more happy.
8. 
Children should play till the age they want to. Play is stress busters. Physical exercise is also a stress buster. If they don’t get a chance to play due to less kids or weather, enroll them in some hobby class or pursue a sport.
9.  If they like to dance and sing they should do that everyday.
10.    Please don’t burden them with school homework , tuition homework and external classes homework. Thinking will be limited.
11.    Talk about everything that we converse at home appropriately as per their level. Let them be aware of life's dealings.
12.  Listen to them too. If they don’t want tuitions / studies for a day or two, pls give them that break. Explain the consequences of that break. Don’t warn.
13.   Allow and encourage them to befriend  like minded kids . Let them meet their friends sometimes under supervision. Talk about their friends and their family. Allow child to gauge the nature of her friends so that she or he knows to judge correctly.
14.   Probably many of us didnt witness or even heard such incidents because we had plenty of friends to talk and share our thoughts.
15.   
Nowadays because of growing instances of  manhandling , abduction etc. We dont allow them to go down and play on their own. However, we need to make some time for this. PLAY ,  having good FRIENDS and parental interaction with kids are critical.

16. One of the best way to deal with a child having any addiction like media, bad company, drugs etc is by diverting him or her and keeping them busy with tasks they are insterested in.

17. Building up their emotional intelligence and helping to manage their emotions is important.

18. DO NOT HESITATE to take professional help if in doubt or if needed. Do not take things for granted by ignoring.

Just wote this blog  to increase more awareness among we parents.

 Every emotional turmoil can be sorted through right intervention and communication.
Life is priceless.

The Subtle Art of Comeback.----Why The Science Of Resilence is Important

                  I am sure that we have faced setbacks at some stage in our life. Calculations have gone wrong in spite of our best effor...